|
~ Hepatitis C awareness ~ ~ Webring 2
Articles Hosted by
We use E-commerce services pages for safe downloads and sales. And as a Verified Member of PayPal, we proudly display the PayPal Seal on our website. |
Article of the Day Article of the Day
Article of the Day
provided by The Free Dictionary
TODAY'S NEWS TV Guide, TV Listings, Online Videos, Entertainment News and Celebrity Dictionary, Encyclopedia, Thesauri, Usage, Quotations, "Roget's International Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases" and Houghton-Mifflin's "Roget's II: The New Thesaurus," third edition. Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia For citing references in Wikipedia, see Wikipedia:Citing sources
Hair Removal.... All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on....... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!' There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?' She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......
Ha ha, Got ya, Oh, opps. Joke Machine& Joke Shop Classics My mother taught me HUMOR.~"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." Author Unknown Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy. Strange Turnpike Turnings Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"
|
Gift Form Gramma Susie
Date and Moon Phases
by The JavaScript Source February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. 7art Planets ScreenSaver brings you 24 amazing images of the Solar system planets. Assorted All Occasion Greetings Cards
Make Beautiful Cards = Software.Digitaly download the product immediately after order. $9.99 or purchase this product as a gift Totally Free Condoms
Our Network Add Babies Our Wireless Superstore a2000greetings Electronic's Amazon Store Sale 
Links to Site Man has the fundamental right to freedom, equality, and adequate conditions of life, in an environment of a quality that permits a life of dignity and well-being, and he bears a solemn responsibility to protect and improve the environment for present and future generations.
clickXchange.com pay for performance marketing -
clickXchange provides custom affiliate programs for marketing firms , consultants and individual in house affiliate program managers. An all inclusive turnkey solution featuring, hundreds of programs and thousands of pre-screened affiliates.
Operation Drop Ship - Operation DropShip is a secure online provider of drop ship and wholesale sources, allowing online sellers to access thousands of wholesale products for resale in online auctions, websites, and brick and mortar stores. Key Operation DropShip |
![[Vote for this Site!]\](images/vote4us.gif)
Weather Photo's
Dew to slow loading weather photo's has moved. Here!
|
| HOME | Privacy Statment | © 2008 a2000greetings, Inc. All Rights Reserved. | Terms of Use | Bookmark Us |